Yesterday, I was sitting out on the balcony reading my book, when I saw a man and girl sitting outside the bank begging for money. I know that the man isn't legitimately poor, because he used his bank card to let me into the bank the first day I was here, but I felt really sorry for the little girl. Usually, I don't think that pity goes a very long way, but I couldn't help but realize that I had been sitting out there feeling sorry for myself because I was going back to the states, and this little girl was sitting out on the streets in the cold. So, I got up, went downstairs, and bought her an alfajor at the kiosko by our residence. I gave the man (I hesitate to call him her dad, because I have a feeling that he isn't) the left over change, and handed the alfajor to the little girl. He said thanks, took the cookie from her and put it in his backpack. I walked away, and then felt compelled to ask why she wasn't eating it. He tried to tell me that she had just eaten french fries and that she didn't need the cookie right now, and I realized that she wasn't going to get it after all. I don't know what to do about it. I haven't seen them since last night, but I want to buy her another one, but give it to her open this time, so he can't take it from her. I made him promise to let her eat it later, but I don't trust that he'll hold his promise.
So that's about all the volunteering I did while I was here. That sucks. I came to BA with the idea that I was going to make some sort of difference to someone, but I couldn't even help one little girl.
Other than my failure in service, I think that I have gotten a lot from the trip. My Spanish has improved tenfold and I have definitely changed my point of view on life in a lot of aspects. I have met incredible people who have made me think, which is something that I think I have been avoiding in the last few years. I don't know what is going to happen when I go home, but I can only hope that it will be something good. I guess we'll just have to see.
It's sad, because I know that once I leave here, it will most likely be 3 years before I see the city again, I'm going to try and work for the next few years (at least during the summer), so that I can make a trip around the world in the future. There is so much out there that I want to see, but I need to save some money and PLAN that adventure, rather than just jump into it with my eyes closed.
I've got responsibilities at my doorstep when I get home, and that's okay. I'm going to do my best to keep up with them, and to make every day count. But on the days when I don't make it count, on the days when I loaf around, or I neglect some sort of responsibility, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Life goes on, it continues, it doesn't stop for any mistake and it doesn't give you a chance to tie your shoelaces. You have to keep going, and that's what I'm going to do.
I probably won't write again before I leave, at least not on this blog, so if anyone has been keeping up with it (which I'll never know), I hope I have kept you entertained at the least. If I'm speaking only to myself, well, I don't need to say anymore.
Chao, por fin.
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