Mejor

Hmm hmm hmm.

I think I have worn myself out physically and mentally and emotionally! Today I haven't even been able to read my book because my mind has been in 139085478 different places at once. So frustrating.

I don't consider myself a know-it-all. I'd say I'm of about average intelligence, I have enough common sense to survive, and I like to think that I'm at least reasonably mature for only being 19 years old. However, since I've been here, I've realized that I am much more naive than I formerly believed. Ha.

It's good though. Because I recognize when I'm being immature, and when I'm making stupid decisions, and when I'm taking things more seriously than I should. This week I'm going to try really hard to spend more time alone. I like everyone I'm meeting--I really do, but every day I feel like I might be pushing myself further away from the person I'm trying to come to terms with, on account of I'm always trying to have a good time.

I can't decide if it's a virtue or a vice that I have such an intense reaction to things that happen in my life. Sometimes I feel like it's telling of my age and other times I feel like it's telling of my character. I will not be more explicit than that because I know what I mean and I don't think anyone is reading this blog anyway, so it's good enough for me.

I understand without a doubt the importance of living here while I'm here. But at the same time I think that when my mind is in so many places, I should let it have free rein. Why would and why should I erase important things from my mind for the one month that I'm here? I love Buenos Aires. I'm taking full advantage of it. I'm meeting all kinds of incredible people and I'm learning a lot. But I'm still in touch with the reality that is waiting for me in 13 days. Because turning a blind eye to it doesn't make it go away, and it doesn't make me any better of a person.

I think that there are lots of things I need to work out in my head. I don't even need to analyze them, I just need to write down all of my thoughts and my feelings and just purge my brain!! I feel like a character from a Judy Bloom novel, but I don't care.

In other news, I believe I'm going to Uruguay this week to see a few friends which I'm really looking forward to. It will definitely be nice to get out of the city for a few days and I'm definitely ready for some more traveling. I can't believe I only have 13 more days here, that is really bizarre to me.

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.”
-Edward Abbey